Wednesday, 23 December 2015
Housewives From Another World (4 Stars)
This is the 24th film in the Medina Collection, made in 2009.
Yesterday one of my friends criticised me for reviewing so many erotic films recently. He wants me to get back to reviewing normal films. I'm sorry that he doesn't like my recent reviews, but at the same time I thank him for being a regular reader. It's only temporary. As soon as I've finished reviewing all 32 films in the Medina Collection I'll return to reviewing what he calls normal films. However, I'd like to defend my reviews. Erotic films, even pornographic films, can be of very high quality. Fred Olen Ray puts great care into making all his films. He has artistic integrity. I would also like to ask, if I don't review these films who will? I'm not aware of any other film site that has reviewed all 32 films in sequence. That was my intention when I started. I originally thought I would space them out and watch them over a period of two months or longer, but I've had such fun re-watching them that I'm progressing faster than expected, and I'll probably finish them by the first week of January. During this time I haven't been watching the Medina films exclusively. I've been going to the cinema to watch new films, and I've watched a few older films on disc, such as "Adaptation" and "Captain America: The Winter Soldier". I'll probably watch another few normal films before I finish. Wait and see.
Having said that, "Housewives from another world" does have two problems. The first is Tony Marino, shown here with Christine Nguyen. The Medina films are characterised by having first class actors. Unfortunately, that doesn't apply to Tony. Ever since the 19th film, "Bikini Royale", he's been a regular, and I have to ask why. He's almost as wooden in the delivery of his lines as Keanu Reeves. More than anything else, in the sex scenes Tony seems to be bored. First he looks at the woman he's with, then he looks left, then right, and he repeats these motions non-stop. Okay, it's only fake sex for the camera, but at least he could put a bit of effort into it.
The other problem is Heather Vandeven, who plays the lead role in this film but only appears in one other film in the collection. I've read that she was picked as the Penthouse Pet of the Year in 2007. How did that happen? As you can see from the photos, she has a beautiful face and figure, but there's something wrong with her that you can't see. She must have gone cheap and got a backstreet boob job, because the scars on her breasts are awful. They look so bad that I had to cringe every time she takes her clothes off. I don't mind women having breast implants, it's their body and they can do what they like, but when the results are this dreadful I have to yell No. I'm surprised that the make-up lady didn't put on cream to hide the scars. Heather looks nasty, and this film shows off her ugliness in full detail.
At least the other girls don't look so bad. Medina regulars Christine Nguyen and Rebecca Love have perfect breasts. Take my word for it. Christine should have been chosen as Penthouse Pet of the Century.
Ted Newsom has grown a beard since the last film. You might be wondering why I show so many photos of him. If you watched the films you would know. He always carries every scene he appears in. He's a magnificent actor, whether he plays straight or comic roles.
Now for a very brief plot summary. Scientist Frankie Cullen is developing a Deep Space Satellite. A remote alien race feels endangered, because this satellite would enable the warlike people of Earth to discover them. Three aliens compress their life essences into fragments of meteor rock, and they enclose themselves in a meteor that crashes on Earth near Frankie's house. After arriving they possess the bodies of the first three women who touch the meteor rock. They scheme to prevent Frankie's invention going into development.